30 April, 2007

Dreamsailing - contd.

As I had referred to before , lucid dreaming could be quite fun. The one from this morning I will narrate - There was something I really wanted a few years ago but could not get it at all. I think I came close but then things went very wrong and have not really been set right since.

So, I get this dream last night with characters related to the theme above. About five minutes into the dream, I realise whats going on . Instead of being greedy and quickly tweaking things to the way I would like it to be, I went on to have a conversation. I really wanted to understand what was going on the heads of the others involved, and this was just about the easiest way of doing so. It was good while it lasted but I had to get up as my friends (visiting from India) were ringing the door bell to let them in - they just got back from Amsterdam (a 12 hour bus ride).
I went back to sleep immediately after that but the dream did not come back.
I was analysing the conversation and realised that the other characters in the dream were saying things which I would have wanted them to say. In fact, it is not so cut and dried. They said things which made sense to me. Actually, they said things which did not make sense to me. But, knowing them, in a way it did. In yet another set of words, if I were to imagine myself in their place, I would have probably said the same thing.
This means that a lucid dream is the psychological equivalent of a closed system (as it should be).
I could NOT have come up with something from outside. The source of information, no matter how fantastic they seem, are coming from somewhere inside my brain itself.
Ho hum.
Good while it lasted.

26 April, 2007


The title is the only place which refers to the tv show. This is about my friends, I hope this one is fun.
(For me, thinking of something to write about is quite a task. I try to be spontaneous, but since most of my waking time is spent in office, I can not do much about it there. The other problem with personal bursts of spontaneity is that many of these thoughts, are exactly that. Just one interesting thought. Blogging has generated quite a bit of respect in me for writers....)
I could describe my friends, but that will be a long winded post and I am feeling super lazy, today being a Friday.
For me, friends are a storehouse of memories as well as a preview of the future. Each one of them has a box full of common times from the past - the fun and the games, but also the heartbreak and the agony; long hours of debating right and wrong and black and white but also innumerable moments of unquestioned support and understanding. There are times when we ruled the world together in our own little corner, but also times when we felt that everyone was against us... the times we learnt the good and the bad and also the times when we discovered the madness in each other and in our own selves. Some of the oldest memories I have are of time spent by my oldest friend in my house in Jamshedpur - breaking toys, running after one another and just being happy. Playing football and Khokho (yes!) in front of Carmel School, hours spent talking on the terrace on top of second wing at DPS, discussing the country and everything that is happening every day after playing football in front of the main road in Sarita Vihar, playing "बीस साल बाद" on the final block terrace, sitting in side the fountain in front of the main block at Suratkal, long walks in the staff area at Ahmedabad, listening to music and watching movies just talking and not moving while everyone else was running "very hard to stay at the same place" at Ahmedabad, staying awake the whole night to try and attend the first lecture and falling asleep just after breakfast, chasing waterfalls and scaring in Scotland, partying hard all over London, shivering on the top of the Eiffel Tower, driving a car through the mustard fields near Neemrana, playing cards in Florence or getting drunk on Californian wine on the terrace at Dock street on my birthday, questioning life and laughing at nothing at Maresfield Gardens - so many millions of things and if I did not have friends, I would have missed out on each of them.

Unconditional happiness and an unhurried sense of time - that is what I am trying to put across here.

The future... well I see how each one of them is and I can also steal glimpses of their future, and in some way, of my future. I see hardwork and success, and I also see wasted opportunity. I see mindblowing brilliance and I see mediocrity.
What I like to see is contentment and resilience. I like to see strength of purpose and character.
These are the things that I need for the future. I know where to find them.

Soppy eh?
Sorry. Blame it on the song in the post below?

Singing in Hindi

इन दिनों, दिल मेरा, मुझ से है कह रहा ,
तू ख़्वाब सजा, तू जीले ज़रा...

है तुझे भी इजाज़त
करले तू भी मोहब्बत
है तुझे भी इजाज़त
करले तू भी मोहब्बत

बेरंग सी है बड़ी ज़िंदगी , कुछ रंग तो भरो
मै अपनी तन्हाई के वास्ते, अब कुछ तो करो ..... (२)

जब मिलें थोड़ी फुरसत (2)
खुद से कर ले मोहब्बत
है तुझे भी इजाज़त,
करले तू भी मोहब्बत

The hindi keyboard is painful for some words, but overall an 8 on 10*.

These days, my heart keeps telling me
to Dream a little,
to Live a little...

That I too am allowed,
To fall in Love...
That I too am allowed,
To fall in Love...