Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts

03 October, 2010

Pay for three, get two.

Marketing messages and ads in general usually try to insult your intelligence. There are washing detergents with magical molecules like ultrons and dirt-punchers which clean and bleach new white shirts into white shirts. There are hair models who have digital enhanced hair which would put Lara Croft and the Tombraider animation gang to shame.There are fairness cream ads (a uniquely Indian proposition) and pimple removal cream ads with women, who after using the cream, get a) married, b) become beauty queens and now with the market research teams capturing the changing aspirations of a nation, c) become wildly successful careerwomen.
IF this is not insulting to women, I am not sure what is. 

You are always saving more and more and getting much more free for improved products, while spending more and getting less. There is always an asterisk at the end of price points.
I write these posts over a couple of days. The CWG 2010 inauguration telecast just got over on TV - I regret not going there. It was great and filled me with pride. To see the entire stadium get up when the Indian team walked in made me well up a little bit. I should have bought more tickets. Instead, I bought only 2 and my father and sister ended up going. They tell me that it was even better inside the stadium. Everyone was happy and the crowd was judicious in their behaviour - cheering Manmohan Singh and Sheila Dixit and booing Kalmadi and ignoring Prince Charles and his wife.


*What if more marketing budgets could be allocated to product research or better distribution arrangements, which would either increase company profitability at the same prices, or maybe even pass some benefits to the consumer.I think that there is a bit of game theory going on here as well. If Firm A is advertising, firm B also has to advertise else is loses out, even if the products are similar. Thats positive ROI at a firm level but it might mean a less than optimal ROI at a market level. At the same time, if I advertise my cola, I am sure I help all the other colas in the market. Therefore, my behaviour and decisions affect the others and there is a global maximum (or two) and local maximums. Hmm.

01 February, 2009

TV lows

After watching TV in the UK for a few years - big brother, x factor, fear factor et al, I had honestly believed I had seen it all. However, a chance encounter with something called "Roadies" on MTV changed all that for me.
I know very little about the roadies - there are two teams and they play different games and there are eliminations and a 'winner' emerges in the end. I am not sure what the winner is supposed to be good at, but he is an MTV Roadie and he gets a lot of money and usually also gets invited to take part in Big Boss, which is India's version of 'Celebrity Big Brother'. One of the essential qualifications for appearing on Big Boss is that this lot were able to block out 90 days from their calendar without batting an eyelid.
I am not sure what career options are available to Big Boss winners.
So, there I was gorging, on lots of chicken tikka and roomali roti at RG's house, where we were all treated to all the roadies getting very excited about someone getting kicked out, a slanging match between two girls (one of them was wearing very large and very dark glasses indoors) and then the game. The game was as follows - all of these early 20 somethings were let loose with Pushkar animal fair in the backdrop, with the glorious task of collecting animal dung. That was the task - collecting shit with bare hands. The dung was divided into two categories - fresh and not-so-fresh, with the fresh variety getting a higher weightage in the final score.
I am not really sure why I am disgusted - quite a few things rush to my mind, but I I will let it be for now.
With the realisation that I had hit a new TV record which would be hard to better, I resumed dividing my attention with RG, SS and Chicken Tikka.
The universe had other plans.
Roadies returned, with its infinite capacity to surprise, with a bang!
This time around, the two teams were participating in a quiz. The questions were to be answered by the girls of each team and correct answers would get them points. In case of an incorrect answer, one of the boys of the team would get hit by a paddle on the balls.
Apologies, but this had to said as there is no other way of saying it.
Oh yes, the quiz questions were about translating words from English into Hindi and vice versa. As you can imagine, there were a lot of wrong answers and lots of bats and balls being connected.
So yes, I know that I have seen all that there is to see on TV. (As long as I dont watch roadies again).
I feel bad when I see such television. I feel worse because I could see that this program is very popular (every commercial break had about 5 minutes of advertising). I will not get into comparing how things earlier, but I think that a few such data points can help us extrapolate where things are headed -
- where TV is headed
- where public acceptance levels are headed
- where education levels might be headed
All we know has been taught to us - from teachers, parents and friends. Of course we read, but then it is our peers and soceity which decides what are the first few things we read, or even that we start to read. Media plays an ever increasing role. Reading and discourse probably leads to opinion and action and so on.
What if an entire generation of teachers, friends and parents are brainless, wont the succeeding generations lose out on a lot and would have to reinvent the educational and cultural wheel? I like to think that such things have happened before - for example, the ruin of the various south american civilisations (I guess we dont even know how long it will be before we understand their abilities completely) and their replacement by the Europeans.(Funny how the Europeans called labeled all these civilisations as barbarians. The sense of humour of this universe knows no end.)

Drastic change of topic -
I also got to see "Luck by chance". I liked it. It is a good movie.
Since SS has threatened dire consequences for talking about it on the blog before she gets to see it, I will just say that a murder mystery of such finesse is very rare to come by.
Also, for all of you who read my blog, please wish me luck. There is something up for which I need all your wishes.

12 January, 2009

2008

2008 was a blur. Too many things happened -

- Coming back and setting up
- Trying again and hoping and then giving up and hoping for the best
- Hiring and firing, winning and losing
- Working hard and hardly working
- Setting up processes and then rubbishing them (I would not know a good process even if one hit me on the head)
- Driving around and then being driven
- Meeting tonnes of new people a few times
- Meeting fewer and fewer people more and more (aka, nt=c) (I love it when life can be expressed as an equation)
- Partying and then deciding that I am too old and fat for it
- Gaining weight and gaining more weight...
- Shaving my head
- Spending tonnes of time with my parents and sister (after about 16 years)
- Trying to get married
- Trying to figure out if relinquishing control is ok
- Getting used to Delhi
- Getting used to Gurgaon!
- Getting back the nonchalance which is required to read the papers every day
- Writing more, reading more, reading less nonsense
- Looking back at life in London, not regretting moving back!
- Loving it

12 months, 10 trips, lots of friends, countless conversations and memorable moments - I hope and pray that 2009 is as eventful as 2008.

05 November, 2008

Its only a name

Saurabh happens to be quite a popular name for people my age. My mother wanted me to have a name like Amit (full marks for uniqueness). My father advised against this as this would put me me at the beginning of every roll call and every lab exam (roll numbers are usually alphabetical). During engineering, I have uttered many a silent thank you for not being in the first batch going in for practical tests and viva.
I have always had people with the same name around me. There was a time in DPS when there were two others with the same name in the same class - Saurabh Khanna, Saurabh Kumar Das and yours truly. Many a time, we used to be called for each other's doings - be it exam scores or pulled up for bunking classes. The confusion was usually only mildly irritating but had its high points as well.
Once in class,  a teacher who had just received a piece of paper from a peon, asked me to stand up as she read it out to me. I was expecting a visit to the accounts department as they were supposed to refund my hostel fees. The teacher, smiling mildly, read this out, "Saurabh, you are hereby suspended for 2 weeks and are asked to stop coming to school from tomorrow." Even though my behaviour was on an average somewhat unruly, I was not sure why the school was taking such a strong exception to this. After about two hours of tracing the root cause, I came to know that it was my hostel warden who had volunteered my name. Apparently, he knew that some Saurabh had done it and he remembered my name.Real culprit - Saurabh Sachdeva (ofcourse yet another one).
There has also been a time in life when I had the right name but was the wrong person, but there are better tales to share here. 
With the internet ofcourse, things have become more interesting. I have received the following emails: 
1. Dear Saurabh Sir, please find attached the production and attendance report for yesterday
2. Dear Saurabh, the amount in your account is Rs. xxxxxx.
3. Dear Roopshree, your shaadi.com profile has been updated.
4. Congrats Roopshree! there are three people interested in you.
5. ALERT! A cheque of Rs. 5000 has been debited from your account.
6. Saurabh, please submit the cash tomorrow as I need the money urgently
7. Saurabhda how is australia?
8. Saurabh, congrats on joining the naukri.com mailing list. you will now get 100 emails every day with suitable job openings. 

Ouch!

Thanks to my name (or actually my email address on gmail), I get occasional glimpses of someone else's life.

I wrote an email to my bank when the bank emails started coming to me.

This was their reply:
This is with reference to your e-mail dated October 17, 2008 regarding e-mail alerts.
We request you to provide the below details to enable us to assist you:
1. Account number or customer ID
2. Copy of the e-mail received by you as attachment.
 
Warm Regards,
Bhavya XXXX

Customer Support


Next email from them after I provided the above details:
Dear Mr. Jain,

Thank you for your confirmation.This is with reference to your query for the e-mail alerts.
Your query is being attended to. We will revert to you within 5 working days.Looking forward to your co-operation and patience in the interim.
 
Warm Regards,
Bhavya XXXX

Customer Support


My obvious reply to them was somewhat disturbed:
I am not MR. Jain.
I am saurabh kumar


To which they replied:
Dear Mr. Kumar,
Thank you for writing to us.
This is in reference to your earlier e-mail regarding insta alerts.

We are sorry for addressing you incorrectly

And then, their parting shot -
Dear Mr. Jain,
Thank you for your patience and co-operation.The necessary rectification has been done. Hence forth you will not received the alerts of other customer.We regret the inconveniences caused to you.
Warm Regards,
Bhavya XXXXX
Customer Support